Jessica: Snape Tried To Steal Your Christmas!
by RuneWitchSakura
Summary: Oh no, Jessica! Snape’s trying to steal your Christmas...tree! What a Grinch! HP x Van Helsing movie x PotC x LotR x InuYasha xovers A little late, but Merry Christmas, Jessica!


He entered the window to the dark room quietly, and sighted his prey. He slowly made his way to his prey and grabbed it. He started making his way back to the window he came in, when the door slammed open, the lights came on, and the owner of his prey came into the room.

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Jessica was just about to open the door to her room when she heard someone come in through the window. She grabbed her wand and used a summoning spell. A few seconds later the item she wanted came to her. She slammed the door open and used her wand to turn the lights on.

And there in the middle of her room, with the 'deer in the headlights' look on his face, was Severus Snape, holding _her_ miniature Christmas tree. Jessica's eye twitched.

"Um…" was all Snape could get out, before he had a face full of the item Jessica summoned. What was it, you ask? Why, Van Helsing's automatic crossbow of course.

"What are you doing with my tree?" Jessica asked.

"Um…"

…

…

Cue Music

…

…

"You're a mean one Mr. Grinch."

"What the hell?" Snape asked.

"You really are a heel."

"It's been playing that song for the last four months. I blame Sakura," Jessica said. Somewhere far away a girl with red hair and black tips sneezes.

"Someone must be talking about you Sakura," Aliira said. Sakura only smiled, before sneezing again.

"You're as cuddly as a cactus."

"HEY YOU!" Both Snape and Jessica turn around to see Van Helsing coming through the window.

"My crossbow if you would," Van Helsing said.

"You're as charming as an eel. Mr. Grinch"

"What the hell?"

"That's what I said," Snape drawled. Van Helsing took a _real_ good look at Snape. He took in the long black hair, pale skin, and the fact that he was dressed in all black, and attacking at night, and came to the only conclusion he could think of.

"You know what, you can keep the crossbow. But kill the vampire."

"You're a bad banana"

"HEY!"

"Hay is for horses," Jessica said, aiming the automatic crossbow at Snape. Before she could fire, she was interrupted…this time by, Van Helsing's sidekick, Carl.

"Why does it smell like wet dog in here?" Carl asked. The others took sniffs of the room, then looked to the doorway, to find the reason walking in the room.

Mandzy came in the room, holding two leashes. One was attached to Remus Lupin who had his wand out and was giggling like a mad man, and the other was attached to a wet and pouting Sirius Black.

"With a greasy black peel"

"You mean that thing is still going?" Mandzy asked.

"Yes, and I blame your alter ego," Jessica said, still waving around the crossbow, causing all the other's except Mandzy to duck.

"You're a monster, Mr. Grinch."

"Oh, well," Mandzy said, "I come bearing gifts. Two in fact."

"Which one do I open first?" Jessica asked, momentarily forgetting about everyone else that was in her room.

"Your heart's an empty hole."

"The smaller one," Mandzy said. Jessica opened the smaller of the two and pulled out three leashes with collars attached.

"Um…"

"Open the other one now."

"Your brain is full of spiders,"

Jessica opened the big present which was about the length of her bed and a little taller. Jessica absentmindedly wondered how Mandzy got that all the way too her house then up the stairs, but all thoughts left her head as she saw what was in the big present.

"AIIIIIEEEEE!" she squealed, causing the three males in the box to scream in horror. Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Legolas Greenleaf were all in the box, tied up and had tape over their mouths.

"You've got garlic in your soul. Mr. Grinch."

"And now you know what the leashes and collars are for!" Mandzy said cheerfully.

"Thank you!" Jessica yelled, as she hugged Mandzy around the neck.

"You're welcome," was her reply, "I tried to get Aragorn too, but Arwen chased me around with Gimili's axe so I just took Legolas and ran."

"I wouldn't touch you, with a thirty nine and a half foot pole."

Shadows fall over the room. There in the doorway is…

"FLUFFY-SAMA!" Mandzy yelled, "Did you get them?" Sesshoumaru holds up InuYasha and Kouga, both of whom are pouting. Mandzy squealed before pulling a collar and leash out of no where and adding Kouga to her 'doggy' collection. Jessica grins and puts leashes and collars on both the Inu Brothers. Sesshoumaru attempts to protest, but Mandzy stops him.

"Ah, ah! I said if you brought me InuYasha and Kouga, _I'd_ leave you alone. I never said anything about Jessica leaving you alone."

"You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch."

"Okay, you know what, _blastems_!" Mandzy said, pulling out her wand, and reciting the spell.

"You have ter-schreech. **BOOM!**"

"There, no more music."

Dracula crashes through the roof.

"Ow."

"That's gonna take a while to fix," Mandzy said, looking at the vampire-shaped hole in Jessica's ceiling. Dracula gets up, looks around at those present, and then makes a break for the door. Jessica grabs the back of his shirt collar as he runs past.

"Where's my present?" Jessica asked.

"Am I supposed to have one?"

"Everyone here either is a present or gave me one," Jessica pointed out.

"He didn't," Dracula said, pointing to Carl. Jessica looked at Carl, who rummaged through his pockets and then tossed her a bottle of Holy Water and a cross.

"Now he has," Jessica said.

"He didn't," Dracula said, pointing to Snape this time.

"He's my present to myself," Jessica said, latching a collar and leash on Snape's neck, "My own personal punching bag. Now, where's my present?"

"Uh…I'll turn you into a vampire thereby making you immortal?" Dracula offered.

"Okay!" Jessica said, grinning widely.

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I couldn't resist putting in the wet dog quote. It's my favorite part of that movie. And Sirius makes such a wonderful wet dog. Especially when it's Remus who soaks him. I think I like the ending best. I was sorely tempted to put Mandzy yelling 'Hey, I wanna be immortal too!' but I wanted to end with Jessica grinning and not bopping me on the head. Read and Review. Smiles.

Rune


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